Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Running with cows

Some stereotypes about cows are wrong. (Based on my experience running with cows.*)


Cows--the cows I run with**, that is--do not really like humans. They really, really do not want to be petted.

Some are aggressive. By "some" I mean, about half of them. And not only the "male cows"--are they actually bulls? I think someone did cut off their nuts. I hope they are not bulls, whatever that means, because I am running with them and I do not want to run with bulls at this point--also the female cows.

*Like swimming with dolphins!
**One of said cows pictured above. Actual photo taken while running.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Friday, November 2, 2012

Ack

Found out that they hadn't even sent it out to readers yet. Reports due back in the new year, ACK!

What will I do until then?


Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Pumpkin in the library--happy halloweeeeeeen!

Only pumpkin left in town sneaks into the library as dusk gathers on Halloween, floats by ghostly paintings and Latin books full of spells. Spoooooky!

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Now

Now I have still had it, but somebody nice said, 'Hey, they procrastinate and procrastinate for a year, but they did to me--they always do. Just make a list of the changes you think they'll want, and go ahead and make them!'




Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Now have really had it with this

The readers have had my manuscript for six months.
For a long time, I tried really hard to have a good attitude about this. But now I have had it. I do not have a good attitude about this. This sucks.

People out there in the world, readers who are supposed to write reports, why do you take for friggin ever to review a friggin manuscript? If it gets rejected from this press, I could like, not get tenure because this took so damn long ('cause I wouldn't have time to send it to a second press.)

Don't you care about that, oh manuscript readers? Doesn't that matter to you? OK, maybe you do not like my manuscript (if that is the case, you are a fool, because my manuscript is not that bad! fucker.) But even if you do not like it and are a fool--even if you are going to reject it--do you really want me to get fired? Really? I mean, I assume the readers are people who are somewhat sympathetic to the kind of history that I write and were therefore selected by the editor for this task. Do they really want me to lose this job?

In short,








Tuesday, October 23, 2012

People in other countries don't understand Halloween

Some years ago I was in Berlin on Halloween, eating in a burger shop and feeling sorry for myself. A crowd of teenagers, a few of whom wore odd elements of what might pass for costuming, came into the shop. They essentially said to the people working at the shop: 'We are trick-or-treaters. Give us french fries." At first, the people behind the counter ignored them. The teenagers responded by milling rowdily about and insisting that they be given fries, blocking the route to the counter for other people. Finally the burger-workers relented. The teenagers felt, however, that the fries they received were not in a large enough quantity. I think that eventually the burger-workers gave over some actual hamburgers.

Yesterday, I was in a coffee shop in Oxford, UK. Two children under the age of twelve entered, both dressed in what were obviously Halloween costumes, with face paint, and carrying plastic pumpkin buckets. (Note: yesterday was October 21.) The children went diligently from table to table doing the following: First, declare "trick or treat," then hold plastic pumpkin bucket toward person sitting at coffee shop table working on laptop, then stand plaintively looking at said person, holding bucket. Remain in that position. 

I said to the older child, "It is not Halloween." She said, "We are going to visit our uncle and he does not observe Halloween."

Only the creepy guy on the sofa in the back of the shop gave them anything. He gave them some change.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Somewhere out there in the universe



Some thing about readers' reports that I am thinking may in fact be the case--

They always take too long to come back. Your manuscript's reports are taking for ever, way longer than you thought or anyone said. Yeah. That always happens. Ask around.

Some thing about readers' reports that is weird--


Somewhere, out in the universe, my book ms. is sitting on someone's desk or something, stressing them out because they were supposed to read it months ago but they didn't. Maybe sometimes they put their coffee or tea cup on the cover page and now it has a few stray stains. But I don't even know who these people are, and there's no way to tell. Where is the desk upon which the ms. is sitting stressing someone out? In a warm place? In a rainy place?

Maybe the person is not even stressed out about it. Hmm. A few times I have said to senior people that my readers' reports are months overdue, and the people said, 'Oh, that reminds me, I am supposed to read this ms. and the report was due months ago. I really should try to get to that soon.' But they did not sound at all stressed about this.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Amazing fact about the Weimar Republic

Two Jewish women (that I know of) were elected to the German parliament under the Weimar Republic: Toni Sender and Adele Schreiber-Krieger.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

People

The gay Nazi, people. It doesn't get much more sensational in an academic book.

I am just saying. It doesn't get much more like a major summer blockbuster. Why don't you want to publish it?

I mean, there was the time that a giant squid attacked the Puritans who were sailing around the Atlantic fomenting revolution with their pamphlets. But that was a one-time thing.

The gay Nazi changed gay history. The Puritan-attacking squid did not change squid history.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Evolution of a cover letter

(Cover letter to editor to be mailed along with book proposal.)

Four months ago: "This book makes three important scholarly interventions..."

Today: "This book has a chapter on the gay Nazi (enclosed)."