Pumpkin in the library--happy halloweeeeeeen!

Only pumpkin left in town sneaks into the library as dusk gathers on Halloween, floats by ghostly paintings and Latin books full of spells. Spoooooky!

Now

Now I have still had it, but somebody nice said, 'Hey, they procrastinate and procrastinate for a year, but they did to me--they always do. Just make a list of the changes you think they'll want, and go ahead and make them!'

Now have really had it with this

The readers have had my manuscript for six months.
For a long time, I tried really hard to have a good attitude about this. But now I have had it. I do not have a good attitude about this. This sucks.

People out there in the world, readers who are supposed to write reports, why do you take for friggin ever to review a friggin manuscript? If it gets rejected from this press, I could like, not get tenure because this took so damn long ('cause I wouldn't have time to send it to a second press.)

Don't you care about that, oh manuscript readers? Doesn't that matter to you? OK, maybe you do not like my manuscript (if that is the case, you are a fool, because my manuscript is not that bad! fucker.) But even if you do not like it and are a fool--even if you are going to reject it--do you really want me to get fired? Really? I mean, I assume the readers are people who are somewhat sympathetic to the kind of history that I write and were therefore selected by the editor for this task. Do they really want me to lose this job?

In short,

People in other countries don't understand Halloween

Some years ago I was in Berlin on Halloween, eating in a burger shop and feeling sorry for myself. A crowd of teenagers, a few of whom wore odd elements of what might pass for costuming, came into the shop. They essentially said to the people working at the shop: 'We are trick-or-treaters. Give us french fries." At first, the people behind the counter ignored them. The teenagers responded by milling rowdily about and insisting that they be given fries, blocking the route to the counter for other people. Finally the burger-workers relented. The teenagers felt, however, that the fries they received were not in a large enough quantity. I think that eventually the burger-workers gave over some actual hamburgers.

Yesterday, I was in a coffee shop in Oxford, UK. Two children under the age of twelve entered, both dressed in what were obviously Halloween costumes, with face paint, and carrying plastic pumpkin buckets. (Note: yesterday was October 21.) The children went diligently from table to table doing the following: First, declare "trick or treat," then hold plastic pumpkin bucket toward person sitting at coffee shop table working on laptop, then stand plaintively looking at said person, holding bucket. Remain in that position. 

I said to the older child, "It is not Halloween." She said, "We are going to visit our uncle and he does not observe Halloween."

Only the creepy guy on the sofa in the back of the shop gave them anything. He gave them some change.