Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Prestigious grants not received, but unprestigious grants received!
I am happy to say that I received news today that I will receive the Anonymous Wine Importer Grant from a wine importing company that wishes to remain anonymous! I am also a finalist for a grant/loan from the Mom and Dad Center for the Study of Sexuality and German History.
And, my sister had these encouraging words: "You don't need a prestigious grant. You have money in your heart."
Encouraged, I've decided to stick around in this grad school racket at least until the end of the week.
And, my sister had these encouraging words: "You don't need a prestigious grant. You have money in your heart."
Encouraged, I've decided to stick around in this grad school racket at least until the end of the week.
Friday, April 7, 2006
Dissertation Year Reader's Forum, Edition the First
In order to help the reader of this blog feel happy and valued, here in the Reader's Forum reader responses will be published. Though this blog has not existed for long, already several people have read it and made remarks that display a not-very-strong interest in it!
READER'S FORUM
My Sister noted that Dissertation Year, as well as a google search of my name, contains "a lot of lesbian stuff" and that maybe I should consider "branching out." She also noted that a blog about a dissertation is inherently boring and urged me to post about my fabulous personal life.
Another reader read part of the blog and then said that she would "read the rest of it later."
A potential reader said "Oh, you have a blog? Everyone has one these days."
READER'S FORUM
My Sister noted that Dissertation Year, as well as a google search of my name, contains "a lot of lesbian stuff" and that maybe I should consider "branching out." She also noted that a blog about a dissertation is inherently boring and urged me to post about my fabulous personal life.
Another reader read part of the blog and then said that she would "read the rest of it later."
A potential reader said "Oh, you have a blog? Everyone has one these days."
It lurches off the table! Diss proposal drafted.
In between studying for my comp exam and gallivanting around New Jersey, I actually drafted a diss proposal. It is basically several grant proposals stuck together. And it lives! My Advisor's reaction was quite positive, especially when she remarked on the "truly impressive" footnotes, the highest praise a history grad student can receive.
However, she also noted that the "chapter outline" section, which should be the centerpiece of the proposal, is about 4 sentences long. And you know what that means, reader dear. I have to make some more stuff up.
Coming up next: redraft the proposal. Run it by My Advisor again, then use it to win over the members of My Committee (and your committee!) some of whom do not yet know that they are members of aforementioned, unweildily large committee. Will I defend it before the semester ends? Probably not...which means a September defense.
But I'm supposed to be in Berlin in September...du nu nu naaaaahh!
However, she also noted that the "chapter outline" section, which should be the centerpiece of the proposal, is about 4 sentences long. And you know what that means, reader dear. I have to make some more stuff up.
Coming up next: redraft the proposal. Run it by My Advisor again, then use it to win over the members of My Committee (and your committee!) some of whom do not yet know that they are members of aforementioned, unweildily large committee. Will I defend it before the semester ends? Probably not...which means a September defense.
But I'm supposed to be in Berlin in September...du nu nu naaaaahh!
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Instead of diss proposal, part the first
Instead of writing dissertation proposal, me and Tom wrecked shop at Johnny Nero: Action Hero. I mean, how's the history of Weimar Berlin supposed to compete against, for example, "The Western level is which crazy zombie/alien hybrids have become the evil gunfighters and crazy Indians."?! And, sometimes you get Extreme Action Bonus! Initiate Negative Action!
Friday, March 3, 2006
Pseudo grant application--Ha ha, but I still will not get outside money
Below is the pseudo grant application I wrote after total exhaustion and project disgruntlment finishing the season of writing actual grant applications last fall. This fake project statement acheived brief internet fame when Could Be A Model e-mailed it to two of her friends.
[Note: Actual dissertation project not a joke. (Damnit!)]
Your Small American
Project Statement
My dissertation project, tentatively entitled “Berlin 2003-2007: Lesbian Capital of Europe,” will probe the conceptual difficulties in establishing and even in thinking fulfilling lesbian relationships across linguistic and national divides and in the face of rampant vegetarianism. Judith Butler has noted that it may be easy to get a date given that gender is performative and the subject has always already invested in the temporal quickening of a dyke presentation.[1] Yet Butler’s notion conflicts with everyday lived experiences, where lesbianism and asking out German girls is complicated by inabilities to speak German, inabilities to figure out who is whose ex girlfriend, one’s perceived national identity as an imperialist American just looking to slut around then return to the states and not call; and the resulting complexities imbricated in these conflicts. What chances does the subject have to get laid, when the subject always already does not exist, and doesn’t even speak German?
My preparation for this project began with my undergraduate coursework in History and Political Science, as well as many failed attempts to date, or even to meet, Barnard students, which led me to examine problems of lesbianism, agency and subjectivity in a senior thesis entitled: “Dreaming the Lesbian Subject: Post-Structuralist Reality or It’s Not My Fault That She Has A Girlfriend.” Two summers spent conducting preliminary research in Berlin have afforded me the opportunity to make important trials of local paradigms that organize dating, making out completely drunk in bushes in parks, and the production of life-altering, soul-crushing, endless drama. In addition, this project will be aided by an offer of sponsorship from C-----, renowned international lesbian, who has invited me to visit her part-lesbian WG (communal house) where I will be able to refine my project while participating in such activities as L-Word watching, vegetarian cooking, and beer drinking. In addition, top scholar N----, international lesbian of mystery, who speaks no German yet has a German girlfriend, has agreed to advise this project.
Despite these auspicious initial supports, this innovative project depends on funding from your organization to support up to three years of deep emersion in Berlin lesbianism. With support from your funding organization, this project will re-shape the conceptual frameworks that have directed research into lesbianism, nationalism, commercialism, post-structuralism, temporality, affect, embodiment, and dating cute central Europeans.
[1] “Linguist/Temporal/Corporeal Performativety: Stop Whining About How You Can’t Get a Date, You Are Not Even A Subject, It Does Not Matter, Do You Know What I Am Saying?” Social Text 54:1 (Fall 2004).
[Note: Actual dissertation project not a joke. (Damnit!)]
Your Small American
Project Statement
My dissertation project, tentatively entitled “Berlin 2003-2007: Lesbian Capital of Europe,” will probe the conceptual difficulties in establishing and even in thinking fulfilling lesbian relationships across linguistic and national divides and in the face of rampant vegetarianism. Judith Butler has noted that it may be easy to get a date given that gender is performative and the subject has always already invested in the temporal quickening of a dyke presentation.[1] Yet Butler’s notion conflicts with everyday lived experiences, where lesbianism and asking out German girls is complicated by inabilities to speak German, inabilities to figure out who is whose ex girlfriend, one’s perceived national identity as an imperialist American just looking to slut around then return to the states and not call; and the resulting complexities imbricated in these conflicts. What chances does the subject have to get laid, when the subject always already does not exist, and doesn’t even speak German?
My preparation for this project began with my undergraduate coursework in History and Political Science, as well as many failed attempts to date, or even to meet, Barnard students, which led me to examine problems of lesbianism, agency and subjectivity in a senior thesis entitled: “Dreaming the Lesbian Subject: Post-Structuralist Reality or It’s Not My Fault That She Has A Girlfriend.” Two summers spent conducting preliminary research in Berlin have afforded me the opportunity to make important trials of local paradigms that organize dating, making out completely drunk in bushes in parks, and the production of life-altering, soul-crushing, endless drama. In addition, this project will be aided by an offer of sponsorship from C-----, renowned international lesbian, who has invited me to visit her part-lesbian WG (communal house) where I will be able to refine my project while participating in such activities as L-Word watching, vegetarian cooking, and beer drinking. In addition, top scholar N----, international lesbian of mystery, who speaks no German yet has a German girlfriend, has agreed to advise this project.
Despite these auspicious initial supports, this innovative project depends on funding from your organization to support up to three years of deep emersion in Berlin lesbianism. With support from your funding organization, this project will re-shape the conceptual frameworks that have directed research into lesbianism, nationalism, commercialism, post-structuralism, temporality, affect, embodiment, and dating cute central Europeans.
[1] “Linguist/Temporal/Corporeal Performativety: Stop Whining About How You Can’t Get a Date, You Are Not Even A Subject, It Does Not Matter, Do You Know What I Am Saying?” Social Text 54:1 (Fall 2004).
I am not the recipient of several prestigious international fellowships
It occurred to me that perhaps I shouldn't blog about those grants, which I am apparently not going to get. Then I thought instead perhaps I should scan and post the rejection letters, so that those following along at home can enhance their vicarious experience of the satisfaction of not being selected for prestigious international fellowships. Dear reader, what is your pleasure?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)