Hey grant foundation ladies, bring on that cash!

YSA: Would you read my personal statement for this !#@#$$# grant application?
Tom: Sure.
YSA: oh, i should have sent this before. it's the specifications for the personal statement:

”...please state career goals...please describe your helping of other women, as well as how you have worked as a teacher and mentor.”
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Personal Statement
I am deeply pleased to apply for the #!@$%$ of ##$%%^* Women Dissertation Completion Fellowship, a fellowship just for women PhD graduate students who need money to finish their dissertations, and especially targeted to help women who have a deep commitment to mentor other women, not only because I myself am a woman, but also because of my own deep and abiding interest in women. All my life I have supported and mentored other women, even going so far as to sleep with them. Indeed, I am still sleeping with them. One is here with me right now, as I write this.

My dissertation, “Women during the Weimar Republic, 1918-1933,” is about women during the Weimar Republic, in Germany. It is about how they mentored one another, for example by creating women-only work spaces (except for the male clients who came by, but they were not there all the time) and making money to support their (female) children, especially when they were working class. Some people who read about my dissertation might say, “Why do I want to read a whole dissertation about prostitution, venereal disease, pornography and sterilization?” But although my dissertation discusses all these things, it is really about women. Women mentoring other women. Mentoring them to run away when the police raided their bordellos, and to avoid venereal disease. Mentoring them to produce postcards of their naked nun cabaret act and not to get those postcards seized by the pornography police.

All of these things, women mentored each other, together. Women together. That is what the Weimar Republic (in Germany) was really all about. The tragic rise of the Nazis put an end to this mass mentoring by German women, but my own commitment to mentor women and girls lives on. As I taught an all-women class twice that was required and that students really resented having to take (and had no clear point), I learned the value of single-sex education and of all-women spaces in which to mentor, mentor, mentor. My commitment to mentoring women has shaped my personal, professional (dissertation) and professional (teaching) lives.

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Tom: you should make your personal statement:
"I have achieved all my goals. Now, I am just f-cking around. Send me
some cash, suckas!"
YSA: stay low, bi-atches, and keep the cash comin.
Tom: That should be your motto. Or at least, the motto of your women-only university.