Defense of dissertation

Hey, back off of my dissertation. People. Just back off.

I mean really, all it wants to do is swim around in mud and eat bugs and pancakes. Who could have a problem with that? That's the nice thing about having a dissertation that's existing (unquestionably!) but doesn't claim to do much fancy stuff. What questions could they ask? "Why does it swim in mud? Why does it like pancakes?" It's a muskrat, for crying out loud. The answers are obvious.

Send me good psychic vibes at 4:30 pm!!