Family, into which one is accidentally born, and dissertation project, which who the hell knows where it came from (in the case of dear K., inspired in a tense moment by a poster that happened to be hanging nearby when she said to herself: "crap, I am meeting my advisor in 20 min., what is my project?") maybe don't think on either side (family, dissertation) that they have much to do with one another.
Oh, but they do.
One story about this that I really like was told me by JAH a few years ago. You know how your family members often identify one thing that you like and then use that as inspiration for holiday/birthday presents for the rest of your life? (As in, my brother-in-law is forever getting golf paraphernalia, as if "golf" were the entirety of his life experience.) JAH's Mom apparently did this with her diss project, which is about Nazi Germany. JAH now, every year, gets Nazi history-themed presents: documentaries about them, books, etc.
One X Mas eve she gazed at the family tree and there, beneath it, was a large package bearing her name and wrapped in white tissue paper through which was visible a giant black swastika. (It turned out to be an enormous encyclopedia or something.)
Merry X Mas!
11 comments:
I hear ya! I think everyone is out of ideas for gifts for me, so knowing my obsession with the Mitford sisters, all gifts now revolve around them. Last year I got all of Nancy Mitford's novels that exist. I think we're going to have to start moving to Unity Mitford paraphernalia, in which swastikas will feature prominently. I recognize, though, that this is an act of desperation born from the fact that I refuse to tell people what gifts I want.
I think maybe I should have called this post "Why You're Getting a Swastika for Christmas."
So, you're expecting 'deviant' german sex practices for christmas?
When my children grow up and I cannot think of gifts to give them for the holidays, I am totally going to get them books on how to pleasure their sexual partner better. Because, I mean, if it's OK to give a big swastika, then it's OK to give this.
And I mean, if they're over 16, they're definitely going to be into sex.
Tom, don't have children.
Well, I'm hoping for deviant practices, but actually this is all building up to a story about a phone conversation I had with my Mom, not a holiday story.
And, I hugely agree with the getting your kids sex books! If I had a kid, I would for sure get it a book that explained how to masturbate. And maybe a vibrator. I think if I'd had those things as a 14-year-old I'd have stayed out of a lot of trouble.
But I also agree that no one should have kids.
oh no, ysa, did you get somebody preggers at 14?
Hmm, 14, eh?
OK. 14 it is! Masturbation guides (homemade?) at 14, sex guides at 17, and after that it's grab-bag.
Who's got two thumbs and is gonna be the coolest dad ever? This guy?
This guy!
Yeah!
I got a girl preggers via lesbian conception down at the pool hall! We've got trouble, right here in River City folks!
But actually what happened as is typical of cases of accidental lezzie pregnancy was that we got really drunk, declared eternal love, and stumbled into a sperm bank.
Post a Comment