Family sports strategy

In other parent sporting news, my Dad won the local triathlon (he won his age group). He won by passing the guy in front of him about a quarter mile from the finish line. Dad and other guys in his age group were featured in an article in a local newspaper, and from this article Dad knew that the guy whom he beat had broken his hip last year.

Dad put all this together in tune with our family sports strategy: We, as a family, specialize in beating disabled people. More specifically, we specialize in passing them right before the finish line.

This was true when me and Dad did the New York Marathon together, and "smoked" a group of blind people who were running together just before the finish line. The NYC Marathon takes a photo of you when you finish, and in our finish photo from that year you see the group of blind folks, raising their hands triumphantly and weeping as they prepare to finish, and me and Dad looking very serious and competitive as we elbow past this group to cross the line.

With my sister, we also "smoked" Rhino Man (pictured) in the marathon one year.

It's like, we can't beat everyone in the race. But we can beat some people, such as those in 40 pound rhino costumes, or those with hip replacements. And we're proud.

Actually, the guy Dad beat in the triathlon was doing pretty well, so I don't know if he really counts. The blind people in the marathon had like a 2 hour head start on us.